Zach and I got to ICU shortly after 9 and they had already started backing off the oxygen to see if he could breathe on his own. His nurse told us to give her about an hour and they would probably have the tube out of his throat. We talked to him for just a few minutes and assured him that the surgery had gone well and that the organ appeared to be working fine, but he didn't seem to know much. He shook his head, but I'm not sure he knew why he was shaking his head!
We left him alone for a little while to get some sleep and then when we returned to the room, the tube was out and he was begging for water. They wouldn't let us give him anything which he didn't understand, but I expected that. ICU will be awful for him until they give him ice chips or something!
He looks wonderful and is trying to talk a little bit.
We'll see how the day goes...everyone wants to see him!
Monday, December 14, 2009
October 25, 2009 - 3:35 am
Jay is in ICU, still intubated but unbelievably, whether Zach and I are imagining it or not, he looks better! I swear, the organ is already working.
He will be sedated until about 6-7 hours after surgery so Zach and I are going to the hotel to get some rest. We'll be able to see him at 9:00 this morning.
I pray that God sees him through the night.
He will be sedated until about 6-7 hours after surgery so Zach and I are going to the hotel to get some rest. We'll be able to see him at 9:00 this morning.
I pray that God sees him through the night.
October 24, 2009 - WE GOT THE CALL!
OH MY GOSH! I don't believe it...the phone rang at 7:05 this morning and it was Angie, one of the transplant coordinators. She was incredibly calm as she told us that they had an organ for Jay! It was like Keystone Cops at our house, immediately! We did everything they told us not to do...we drove like idiots (when she said we had plenty of time), we called everyone in the family (when they told us not to) but at least we got Craig set up with Zach to meet him at their house and bring him to the hospital!
We arrived at the hospital at 8:17 am and they told us that one of the Fellows was leaving for New Mexico to biopsy the organ and see if it was viable. NEW MEXICO???? We found out that once you get to #1 on the List, that you go "nationwide," for organs! What a shock!
We didn't find out until 4:00 this afternoon that the transplant is a "go" as far as the organ being viable. It's on the way back to Dallas now and we'll know in a little bit. It has been a long and exhausting day!
At 4:30, they finished up the "get Jay ready" work and prepared him for surgery. It's official if the organ is a true match when it arrives.
It's a match - we're on our way to the O.R.!!!!!
They came to get Jay at 6:15 and Zach and I went to the operating room with him...talked with the anesthesiologist, and got ready to say our goodbyes! We were standing in the hallway with him when one of his surgeons came running down the hallway with a red Igloo cooler - it's not just TV, it's real! He went running past us and said, "This the liver!" All I could think was, "STOP RUNNING WITH IT!"
We left Jay at the doors at 6:35 pm. No word on how things will go during surgery - they warned us not to expect any updates - they can't afford to delay anything once they've opened him up!
We arrived at the hospital at 8:17 am and they told us that one of the Fellows was leaving for New Mexico to biopsy the organ and see if it was viable. NEW MEXICO???? We found out that once you get to #1 on the List, that you go "nationwide," for organs! What a shock!
We didn't find out until 4:00 this afternoon that the transplant is a "go" as far as the organ being viable. It's on the way back to Dallas now and we'll know in a little bit. It has been a long and exhausting day!
At 4:30, they finished up the "get Jay ready" work and prepared him for surgery. It's official if the organ is a true match when it arrives.
It's a match - we're on our way to the O.R.!!!!!
They came to get Jay at 6:15 and Zach and I went to the operating room with him...talked with the anesthesiologist, and got ready to say our goodbyes! We were standing in the hallway with him when one of his surgeons came running down the hallway with a red Igloo cooler - it's not just TV, it's real! He went running past us and said, "This the liver!" All I could think was, "STOP RUNNING WITH IT!"
We left Jay at the doors at 6:35 pm. No word on how things will go during surgery - they warned us not to expect any updates - they can't afford to delay anything once they've opened him up!
October 23, 2009
Jay went to see Dr. Trotter today - we told him that we wanted him treating Jay from here forward, no more Dr. Lepe. He moved Jay up on the list again, which of course, is very frightening, but we knew this day was coming. Just more wait and see! So tiresome!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
WOW! Where to start...it's been an interesting month to say the least. A couple weeks ago, Jay developed pneumonia. He'd gone in through the ER, but they wouldn't keep him because of all the germs in the hospital! Then this past Thursday, he went to see Dr. Trotter (hepatologist) who immediately admitted him due to the fluid build up in his belly and legs again!
They were able to drain a liter of fluid from his belly and kept him five and a half days while they tried to get his sodium back up (he's been trying to keep it down - apparently did a pretty good job since they worked to get it back UP into "normal" ranges) and to get some of the fluid off again.
He is at a 22 on his MELD score which is the highest he's ever been, so naturally we're doing the happy dance (kinda glad no one can see that but Jay and I!). We look at this as a "we could get the call any day now" kind of celebration. I know it's wrong to pray for someone's death, but I believe in God who has a purpose for everyone and someone's purpose is to give Jay life - this I believe with all my heart.
The insanity continues, but we're getting used to it (which sort of bothers me!). I don't want to be used to it - I want it to be over! I told Jay last night that if he wanted to make this my birthday AND Christmas gift this year, I'd happily take it. Of course I told him the same thing last year and he didn't come through on it, so...
I also want to take this opportunity to ask for prayers on behalf of some friends who have an 8-year-old that's about to have brain surgery. Little Ashley suffers from dystonia and if you could see his videos, you can see why they are hoping for a wonderful outcome from his surgery. It is currently scheduled for the 21st, and I've added them to our prayer list.
Thanks for all the love and support and prayers...we are blessed.
They were able to drain a liter of fluid from his belly and kept him five and a half days while they tried to get his sodium back up (he's been trying to keep it down - apparently did a pretty good job since they worked to get it back UP into "normal" ranges) and to get some of the fluid off again.
He is at a 22 on his MELD score which is the highest he's ever been, so naturally we're doing the happy dance (kinda glad no one can see that but Jay and I!). We look at this as a "we could get the call any day now" kind of celebration. I know it's wrong to pray for someone's death, but I believe in God who has a purpose for everyone and someone's purpose is to give Jay life - this I believe with all my heart.
The insanity continues, but we're getting used to it (which sort of bothers me!). I don't want to be used to it - I want it to be over! I told Jay last night that if he wanted to make this my birthday AND Christmas gift this year, I'd happily take it. Of course I told him the same thing last year and he didn't come through on it, so...
I also want to take this opportunity to ask for prayers on behalf of some friends who have an 8-year-old that's about to have brain surgery. Little Ashley suffers from dystonia and if you could see his videos, you can see why they are hoping for a wonderful outcome from his surgery. It is currently scheduled for the 21st, and I've added them to our prayer list.
Thanks for all the love and support and prayers...we are blessed.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
September Already?
Well, it's already September - how did that happen? Can Christmas really only be four months away? GOOD LORD!
Jay spent all of last week in the hospital - it was a very long week. Started when his belly button burst! It was awful, but at least it had a name, which meant it had a diagnosis and a treatment! Turned out to be not be such a dramatic treatment, but at least they kept him for the week and got 40 lbs of fluid off his body! Amazing!
Having a hard time thinking about "returning" to Dr. Lepe. Really love her, but feel that Dr. Trotter may be the answer to our prayers! Jay is at a 22 on his MELD, which of course, Trotter has nothing to do with, but do feel that he is the "aggressive" doctor that Dr. Hamilton said he was! Right now, aggression is all I want! Oh well, that and a liver, of course!
Jay is bored to tears, but we did get a new Netbook yesterday, so that will help him - at least he can access email during the day now and having something to do!
Friends Doyle and Gina are in Mexico for Gina's daughter's wedding! I'm so jealous - a week of pre-wedding "stuff," and then the wedding on Friday night. Doyle's daughter doesn't know it yet, but her boyfriend is going to propose to her while they're there! I am so excited for all of them - can't wait to hear the stories and see the pictures!
Found a new store - Charming Charlies - just like Sam Moon, but much more organized! Saw a movie this weekend - All About Steve with Sandra Bullock - too cute for words. Worked all day on Monday - busy weekend, but all in all, pretty good one! Oh, and Zach "blew in" Friday night, did his laundry, worked on his truck, and "blew out" Saturday morning! I guess I'm learning to be grateful for the little things!
Love to all!
Jay spent all of last week in the hospital - it was a very long week. Started when his belly button burst! It was awful, but at least it had a name, which meant it had a diagnosis and a treatment! Turned out to be not be such a dramatic treatment, but at least they kept him for the week and got 40 lbs of fluid off his body! Amazing!
Having a hard time thinking about "returning" to Dr. Lepe. Really love her, but feel that Dr. Trotter may be the answer to our prayers! Jay is at a 22 on his MELD, which of course, Trotter has nothing to do with, but do feel that he is the "aggressive" doctor that Dr. Hamilton said he was! Right now, aggression is all I want! Oh well, that and a liver, of course!
Jay is bored to tears, but we did get a new Netbook yesterday, so that will help him - at least he can access email during the day now and having something to do!
Friends Doyle and Gina are in Mexico for Gina's daughter's wedding! I'm so jealous - a week of pre-wedding "stuff," and then the wedding on Friday night. Doyle's daughter doesn't know it yet, but her boyfriend is going to propose to her while they're there! I am so excited for all of them - can't wait to hear the stories and see the pictures!
Found a new store - Charming Charlies - just like Sam Moon, but much more organized! Saw a movie this weekend - All About Steve with Sandra Bullock - too cute for words. Worked all day on Monday - busy weekend, but all in all, pretty good one! Oh, and Zach "blew in" Friday night, did his laundry, worked on his truck, and "blew out" Saturday morning! I guess I'm learning to be grateful for the little things!
Love to all!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Mid-July
It's mid-July and finally some cooler weather has moved in...we've actually had rain the last couple of days.
Jay is feeling about the same - not good, not horrible, but somewhere in between! He goes back to his hepatologist in mid-August (hopefully, she won't be on maternity leave when its time for his appointment). He's extremely jaundiced these days...I hope that means he'll move "up" the list!
I have a kidney stone in my right kidney....after becoming much more disallusioned with my MD's office, I did a search and found a urologist on my own. He has scheduled a "sonar blast" for this coming Thursday, but says it's "no big deal."
I tore my calf muscle Friday night - same injury as last year, just different leg. I was walking through the living room, reached down to "mess with the dog," and heard it pop! Jay was actually in the other room and heard it! He came into the living room and by that time, I was on the couch, saying "not so nice things." He said, "What was that noise?"
Saturday morning, he took me to the emergency room and they diagnosed me. Told me to stay off of it for a couple of days and then into a moon boot, I go for 6 weeks. I NEED SOMEONE TO JUST THROW ME A BONE! I need a week that nothing goes wrong!!!!
Say prayers for us as we muddle through!
Love to all,
Karen
Jay is feeling about the same - not good, not horrible, but somewhere in between! He goes back to his hepatologist in mid-August (hopefully, she won't be on maternity leave when its time for his appointment). He's extremely jaundiced these days...I hope that means he'll move "up" the list!
I have a kidney stone in my right kidney....after becoming much more disallusioned with my MD's office, I did a search and found a urologist on my own. He has scheduled a "sonar blast" for this coming Thursday, but says it's "no big deal."
I tore my calf muscle Friday night - same injury as last year, just different leg. I was walking through the living room, reached down to "mess with the dog," and heard it pop! Jay was actually in the other room and heard it! He came into the living room and by that time, I was on the couch, saying "not so nice things." He said, "What was that noise?"
Saturday morning, he took me to the emergency room and they diagnosed me. Told me to stay off of it for a couple of days and then into a moon boot, I go for 6 weeks. I NEED SOMEONE TO JUST THROW ME A BONE! I need a week that nothing goes wrong!!!!
Say prayers for us as we muddle through!
Love to all,
Karen
Monday, June 15, 2009
Flying with Zach
We did it - we did it! We flew with Zach on Friday night from Rockwall to Stephenville! It was incredible, awesome and everything I hoped it would be!
The weather started out fine in Rockwall, but about 10 miles from Stephenville, we saw a huge bolt of lightning! Casey (Zach's friend and owner of the plane) was talking to a control tower somewhere who told him that we had nothing to worry about - "the weather was about 26 miles west of us." Casey informed the guy quickly, that, "Uh no, it was less than 26 miles."
We landed in Stephenville and then rode over to Hard Eight BBQ for dinner. Zach has talked about this place FOREVER, so I was excited to finally get to eat there, and he was right...the food was awesome! And the atmosphere was pretty cool too!
We headed back to the airport and we were being "followed" by a storm the entire time - lightning and really dark clouds...we hauled butt into the plane and got off the ground with lots of wind and draft! The clouds were incredible and the rockin' and rollin' of the plane didn't settle well with me, but honestly, the two Pilots were excellent. Nothing seemed to bother them at all - matter of fact, they both apologized for the bumpy ride. Landing at Rockwall was interesting; they had a hard time getting the landing gear down, but kept that little piece of information to themselves until we were safely on the ground (smart boys!).
All in all, other than the nasty weather, it was an incredible moment for me - I have done something I never dreamed possible two years ago when Zach started school, and I watched him in "his environment." It was just unbelievable!
I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!!!!
Karen
PS: Jay goes to one doctor today and his hepatologist on Thursday. He has been off work since mid-May and we do not anticipate him going back until after the transplant. He is doing better with the leg swelling - mostly because he makes every attempt to stay off his legs during the day. He is bored to tears, which I expected, and feels so bad most of the time that he hasn't even been fishing (THAT SHOULD TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW!) :)
Pray for "good" results on Thursday and love to you all!
The weather started out fine in Rockwall, but about 10 miles from Stephenville, we saw a huge bolt of lightning! Casey (Zach's friend and owner of the plane) was talking to a control tower somewhere who told him that we had nothing to worry about - "the weather was about 26 miles west of us." Casey informed the guy quickly, that, "Uh no, it was less than 26 miles."
We landed in Stephenville and then rode over to Hard Eight BBQ for dinner. Zach has talked about this place FOREVER, so I was excited to finally get to eat there, and he was right...the food was awesome! And the atmosphere was pretty cool too!
We headed back to the airport and we were being "followed" by a storm the entire time - lightning and really dark clouds...we hauled butt into the plane and got off the ground with lots of wind and draft! The clouds were incredible and the rockin' and rollin' of the plane didn't settle well with me, but honestly, the two Pilots were excellent. Nothing seemed to bother them at all - matter of fact, they both apologized for the bumpy ride. Landing at Rockwall was interesting; they had a hard time getting the landing gear down, but kept that little piece of information to themselves until we were safely on the ground (smart boys!).
All in all, other than the nasty weather, it was an incredible moment for me - I have done something I never dreamed possible two years ago when Zach started school, and I watched him in "his environment." It was just unbelievable!
I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!!!!
Karen
PS: Jay goes to one doctor today and his hepatologist on Thursday. He has been off work since mid-May and we do not anticipate him going back until after the transplant. He is doing better with the leg swelling - mostly because he makes every attempt to stay off his legs during the day. He is bored to tears, which I expected, and feels so bad most of the time that he hasn't even been fishing (THAT SHOULD TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW!) :)
Pray for "good" results on Thursday and love to you all!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Jay Update - May 14, 2009
Seriously, can someone take 6 diuretics a day and still function (outside of the bathroom)?
Jay saw the hepatologist today - his legs are incredibly swollen and one of them is turning red below the knee. She said she thought it was the "start of an infection." She put him on an antibiotic and said if it wasn't better by Monday, she would admit him to the hospital. My fear of course, is that will take him off the list. She said she hoped the antibiotic would keep it from developing, so we'll see.
She put him on ANOTHER diuretic. The poor guy spends more time in the bathroom in a day than I do in a week, so I can't imagine how this is going to work! I made him wear shorts to her office today so she could see his legs - they are unbelievable!
We won't know anything about his MELD score until later today - they are supposed to call him. Disappointed, he also learned today that he is back to his original transplant coordinator, which neither one of us liked in the beginning! But at this point, we're trying not to care! I'm sure the Lord will provide - He always does.
The doctor did say that it was time to quit work and stay off his legs....hopefully, he'll actually listen and obey.
Please pray that his MELD score is higher and that the Lord sends a liver our way....SOON!
Thanks for the prayers and...
Love to you all,
Karen
Jay saw the hepatologist today - his legs are incredibly swollen and one of them is turning red below the knee. She said she thought it was the "start of an infection." She put him on an antibiotic and said if it wasn't better by Monday, she would admit him to the hospital. My fear of course, is that will take him off the list. She said she hoped the antibiotic would keep it from developing, so we'll see.
She put him on ANOTHER diuretic. The poor guy spends more time in the bathroom in a day than I do in a week, so I can't imagine how this is going to work! I made him wear shorts to her office today so she could see his legs - they are unbelievable!
We won't know anything about his MELD score until later today - they are supposed to call him. Disappointed, he also learned today that he is back to his original transplant coordinator, which neither one of us liked in the beginning! But at this point, we're trying not to care! I'm sure the Lord will provide - He always does.
The doctor did say that it was time to quit work and stay off his legs....hopefully, he'll actually listen and obey.
Please pray that his MELD score is higher and that the Lord sends a liver our way....SOON!
Thanks for the prayers and...
Love to you all,
Karen
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Update on Everything
Well, I probably should wait to post this until next week, but honestly, I guess I just need to "talk." Jay gets worse by the day....no, by the moment. Each day is a struggle for him now; just to get up and go to work, but staying is impossible. I don't think he's worked a full day in about two weeks and if that doesn't tell you how bad he is....he hasn't fished in almost a month. THAT SHOULD PUT IT INTO PERSPECTIVE FOR YOU NON-BELIEVERS!
Zach is supposed to be home this weekend for Mother's Day and to get boxes - he's moving out of his apartment and into a new one with a new roommate. Hope that works for him. He's still planning to go to summer school so he won't be home. I already miss him!
Friends are plenty and we are blessed. I'll update next week after the visit with the Hepatologist!
God bless you all,
Karen
Zach is supposed to be home this weekend for Mother's Day and to get boxes - he's moving out of his apartment and into a new one with a new roommate. Hope that works for him. He's still planning to go to summer school so he won't be home. I already miss him!
Friends are plenty and we are blessed. I'll update next week after the visit with the Hepatologist!
God bless you all,
Karen
Friday, March 20, 2009
March Update
Where to begin...
Zach has been home for a week - can't believe it!!! He's been on spring break and we've had a great time! He is going back today and once again, I'll go through withdrawal!
Jay went to the Hepatologist yesterday. She moved him "up" the list again...not far...to a 19, but up nevertheless. Kinda sad when you pray for bad numbers, but at least everyone understands why we do it! He is now 14th on the list, but since he was #4 in December, I don't put much stock in the whole "where you are on the list" scenario! He is horribly tired all the time (expected); has been experiencing liver pain (also expected); and has the worst leg cramps during the night from taking the diuretics. She gave him another medication in hopes of at least curbing the leg cramps...I have taken to buying more pickle juice than can be imagined! Good thing it comes in "sports bottles;" otherwise, he drinks it from the pickle jar! I need to buy stock in bananas as well!
She did tell him that he would be "transplanted this year," but once again, she told him in December that she thought he would be "transplanted over the holidays," so.... I trust her implicitly, but this is, no doubt, a numbers game.
He is still working, although each day seems to be more difficult. But he's been very smart and when he just can't do it anymore, he takes a partial day either by going in late or leaving early. He's usually asleep when I get home in the afternoons and then he's in bed between 7:00 and 7:30 each night. It's really weird...I can't imagine what people who are higher on the list are able to do (we found out yesterday that there's a person who's a 35 - the highest number with Baylor is 36!!!). Can you imagine?????
All is well otherwise...anyone got any great ideas for college funding?????
Love to you all,
Karen
Zach has been home for a week - can't believe it!!! He's been on spring break and we've had a great time! He is going back today and once again, I'll go through withdrawal!
Jay went to the Hepatologist yesterday. She moved him "up" the list again...not far...to a 19, but up nevertheless. Kinda sad when you pray for bad numbers, but at least everyone understands why we do it! He is now 14th on the list, but since he was #4 in December, I don't put much stock in the whole "where you are on the list" scenario! He is horribly tired all the time (expected); has been experiencing liver pain (also expected); and has the worst leg cramps during the night from taking the diuretics. She gave him another medication in hopes of at least curbing the leg cramps...I have taken to buying more pickle juice than can be imagined! Good thing it comes in "sports bottles;" otherwise, he drinks it from the pickle jar! I need to buy stock in bananas as well!
She did tell him that he would be "transplanted this year," but once again, she told him in December that she thought he would be "transplanted over the holidays," so.... I trust her implicitly, but this is, no doubt, a numbers game.
He is still working, although each day seems to be more difficult. But he's been very smart and when he just can't do it anymore, he takes a partial day either by going in late or leaving early. He's usually asleep when I get home in the afternoons and then he's in bed between 7:00 and 7:30 each night. It's really weird...I can't imagine what people who are higher on the list are able to do (we found out yesterday that there's a person who's a 35 - the highest number with Baylor is 36!!!). Can you imagine?????
All is well otherwise...anyone got any great ideas for college funding?????
Love to you all,
Karen
Friday, February 27, 2009
Jay Update
As most of you know, Jay saw the doctor earlier this month for his every 3 months visit. The doctor was shocked that he had gone back to work and commented that he looked better. Amazingly, Jay didn't really feel better and as it turns out, blood work shows that he's not. He didn't move far "up" the list, just up one spot from a 17 to an 18, but I suspect the trend begins again. We will see. He sees the hepatologist in March - that will of course, be more blood work and some other tests that she always does.
Everything else is status quo which I guess is good.
Hope all in your world is well!
Love,
Karen
Everything else is status quo which I guess is good.
Hope all in your world is well!
Love,
Karen
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Mid-February
Can it be that the month is half over? How does that happen? It's true what my mother used to say...time flies (especially as you get older!).
Not much has changed around the house...work for me is the same except for some incredibly long hours right now. Jay is doing pretty good and has been able to work full-time since he went back in January. He went to the doctor yesterday, so his bloodwork results should be forthcoming quickly. The doctor was surprised that he was back at work full-time and even more surprised at how good he looked. I must admit that he does seem a little better physically.
Zach pledged to Alpha Eta Rho last night - the only International Aviation Fraternity in the world. He's still "flying the hair off the dog," and loving every minute of it. He is losing a roommate (apparently the other two are having problems getting along), so he's started looking at new apartments. They'll live out their lease (until June) and then I think he's planning to move into his own place. He has to take one aviation class this summer as it's only offered this summer and then again, the summer AFTER his senior year, so he will stay in Durant for the summer, again. You'd think I'd get used to the fact that he's not coming home, but...
I did spend last Friday afternoon with him - first time I've done some alone time with him in a very long time. It was fun - we ate and shopped, went to the airport to see the newest plane and I met one of the instructors Zach talks about all time. It was such a nice afternoon - it's amazing to me how "old" he seems. He'll be 20 in April, but sometimes I forget that he's still a young man. He's always been an "old soul," but he's definitely gotten older since he left home. He's become such a responsible young man ... concerned about himself of course, but about the world at large. Just amazing.
Have been trying to find ways to fill our time since football season ended - the Wylie girls have made the basketball playoffs, so our football crew has begun going to those games. Funny how you can find 7 people you never get tired of! We've discussed soccer, but good Lord...it's too cold for me to sit outside, even if Wylie is winning! I'm ready for softball and baseball season...I never tire of that...maybe because I played for so long!
I'm thinking of everyone and hoping that all are safe, happy and healthy.
Love to you all!
Karen
Not much has changed around the house...work for me is the same except for some incredibly long hours right now. Jay is doing pretty good and has been able to work full-time since he went back in January. He went to the doctor yesterday, so his bloodwork results should be forthcoming quickly. The doctor was surprised that he was back at work full-time and even more surprised at how good he looked. I must admit that he does seem a little better physically.
Zach pledged to Alpha Eta Rho last night - the only International Aviation Fraternity in the world. He's still "flying the hair off the dog," and loving every minute of it. He is losing a roommate (apparently the other two are having problems getting along), so he's started looking at new apartments. They'll live out their lease (until June) and then I think he's planning to move into his own place. He has to take one aviation class this summer as it's only offered this summer and then again, the summer AFTER his senior year, so he will stay in Durant for the summer, again. You'd think I'd get used to the fact that he's not coming home, but...
I did spend last Friday afternoon with him - first time I've done some alone time with him in a very long time. It was fun - we ate and shopped, went to the airport to see the newest plane and I met one of the instructors Zach talks about all time. It was such a nice afternoon - it's amazing to me how "old" he seems. He'll be 20 in April, but sometimes I forget that he's still a young man. He's always been an "old soul," but he's definitely gotten older since he left home. He's become such a responsible young man ... concerned about himself of course, but about the world at large. Just amazing.
Have been trying to find ways to fill our time since football season ended - the Wylie girls have made the basketball playoffs, so our football crew has begun going to those games. Funny how you can find 7 people you never get tired of! We've discussed soccer, but good Lord...it's too cold for me to sit outside, even if Wylie is winning! I'm ready for softball and baseball season...I never tire of that...maybe because I played for so long!
I'm thinking of everyone and hoping that all are safe, happy and healthy.
Love to you all!
Karen
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Been Lazy
Yes, it's true - I've been lazy the last few weeks and haven't posted anything. The sad part about that is that things have changed, and I didn't bother to share it with anyone!
First, some fun stuff. Zach is rockin-n-rollin' with school...flying the hair of his head apparently, and still loving every minute of it.
We spent last Saturday at the Stock Show with our "football buddies." I'd forgotten how fun the stock show can be, but it is even better with good friends. And of course, there was the food!
I lost one of my cousins on Sunday to cancer. We've been expecting it, but it's such a reality check when "your generation" starts to pass away. She's the first cousin we've lost (other than newborns or infants), so this is particularly difficult. She was just 60 in December, and at my age, 60 gets younger every day!!!!
Much to my dismay, Jay has gone back to work. He quit work in mid-December, and I believe because he was getting more rest and taking better care of himself, his health "improved." When I say improved, I mean that his blood counts went "down." Therefore, the doctors moved him down on the list from a 23 to a 17. He was devastated, but at a 17, he doesn't feel that he will get a liver, so he went back to work this past Friday. Although I do understand his point of view, I believe that he's trying to make himself "sick" again so he'll go back up on the list. Sick or not, you still need a liver.
We just knew that he would get the call over the holidays - I think his doctors even believed he'd be transplanted over the holidays, but as is always the case, no matter how sick you are, you have to have a donated liver to get one! It's been, and continues to be, a long and struggling road.
He's probably better off at work, but emotionally, he's hit rock bottom at this point. I feel for him, and I think going back to work was a mistake. But as I told one of my oldest and dearest friends, these are the only decisions that Jay actually gets to make - all other decisions are made by medical professionals, so I have to let him have some control. Our struggle continues...
Several of you have asked me how I am...my days are very, very good or they're very, very bad. I struggle to stay ahead of the emotion to keep them in check...some days I'm successful, some days, I just suck at it! Thank God most of you understand and know that "this too shall pass." My closest friends bear the brunt of the worst of it - they must deal with me when I won't talk to anyone, but they've been doing it for years - they understand me (and thank God, don't try to change me!). I still spend a lot of time "mulling it over" before I can talk about it and it does bring me some peace to find my inner sanity on my own. It probably doesn't help my friends who are trying to help me, but as my friend Randy says, "I yam who's I yam!"
All I can say is, thank God for good friends that never let me down...no matter how bad I might be. It is never intentional and it is never "aimed" at anyone. It is what it is - my need to avoid severe depression. No matter what happens in life, I know that it will eventually get better. I must just stay ahead of the game. Please continue to keep us in your prayers and at this moment, please pray for my cousin's family. They are all struggling to find some solace in the fact that my cousin is no longer suffering the "bonds of cancer." It is a tough road.
Love to you all!
K~
First, some fun stuff. Zach is rockin-n-rollin' with school...flying the hair of his head apparently, and still loving every minute of it.
We spent last Saturday at the Stock Show with our "football buddies." I'd forgotten how fun the stock show can be, but it is even better with good friends. And of course, there was the food!
I lost one of my cousins on Sunday to cancer. We've been expecting it, but it's such a reality check when "your generation" starts to pass away. She's the first cousin we've lost (other than newborns or infants), so this is particularly difficult. She was just 60 in December, and at my age, 60 gets younger every day!!!!
Much to my dismay, Jay has gone back to work. He quit work in mid-December, and I believe because he was getting more rest and taking better care of himself, his health "improved." When I say improved, I mean that his blood counts went "down." Therefore, the doctors moved him down on the list from a 23 to a 17. He was devastated, but at a 17, he doesn't feel that he will get a liver, so he went back to work this past Friday. Although I do understand his point of view, I believe that he's trying to make himself "sick" again so he'll go back up on the list. Sick or not, you still need a liver.
We just knew that he would get the call over the holidays - I think his doctors even believed he'd be transplanted over the holidays, but as is always the case, no matter how sick you are, you have to have a donated liver to get one! It's been, and continues to be, a long and struggling road.
He's probably better off at work, but emotionally, he's hit rock bottom at this point. I feel for him, and I think going back to work was a mistake. But as I told one of my oldest and dearest friends, these are the only decisions that Jay actually gets to make - all other decisions are made by medical professionals, so I have to let him have some control. Our struggle continues...
Several of you have asked me how I am...my days are very, very good or they're very, very bad. I struggle to stay ahead of the emotion to keep them in check...some days I'm successful, some days, I just suck at it! Thank God most of you understand and know that "this too shall pass." My closest friends bear the brunt of the worst of it - they must deal with me when I won't talk to anyone, but they've been doing it for years - they understand me (and thank God, don't try to change me!). I still spend a lot of time "mulling it over" before I can talk about it and it does bring me some peace to find my inner sanity on my own. It probably doesn't help my friends who are trying to help me, but as my friend Randy says, "I yam who's I yam!"
All I can say is, thank God for good friends that never let me down...no matter how bad I might be. It is never intentional and it is never "aimed" at anyone. It is what it is - my need to avoid severe depression. No matter what happens in life, I know that it will eventually get better. I must just stay ahead of the game. Please continue to keep us in your prayers and at this moment, please pray for my cousin's family. They are all struggling to find some solace in the fact that my cousin is no longer suffering the "bonds of cancer." It is a tough road.
Love to you all!
K~
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Ho Hum....
You know how some days, you just know "it" isn't right, but you aren't sure why...you aren't even sure what "it" is. "It" just isn't right. THat was today and remains so even know, at 7:50 pm.
I'd love to contribute it to having 3 teeth filled today (and enjoying the hour and half of laughing gas) but honestly, seeing my dentist is NEVER an unplesant experience because he understands me so well..."Give her gas, all is well."
I'd love to contribute it to the fact that there was nothing interesting in the mail today except bills. I swear, that's all we get anymore. Geez what happened to the good old days of things that made you smile from the mailbox?
I'd like to contribute it to work and some days feel like eggshells there, but I'm not sure that's it either.
I'm already looking forward to next week...how sad is that? You want your life to pass by so you can avoid "it."
Oh well, I'll pray for a better day tomorrow and see what it brings.
Love to all and I pray that your day was better than mine.
Karen
I'd love to contribute it to having 3 teeth filled today (and enjoying the hour and half of laughing gas) but honestly, seeing my dentist is NEVER an unplesant experience because he understands me so well..."Give her gas, all is well."
I'd love to contribute it to the fact that there was nothing interesting in the mail today except bills. I swear, that's all we get anymore. Geez what happened to the good old days of things that made you smile from the mailbox?
I'd like to contribute it to work and some days feel like eggshells there, but I'm not sure that's it either.
I'm already looking forward to next week...how sad is that? You want your life to pass by so you can avoid "it."
Oh well, I'll pray for a better day tomorrow and see what it brings.
Love to all and I pray that your day was better than mine.
Karen
Friday, January 9, 2009
Hmmm...
Jay went to the doctor yesterday (the hepatologist). It kind of freaks me out that just a month ago we were sitting on pins and needles waiting for a phone call, she tells him that they "did lots of transplants over the holidays" and yet, he wasn't one of them! It also freaks me out that he's gone "down" on the list ... that sounds weird (I'm truly not wishing for his health to fail). I know this is our roller coaster, but sometimes, it's just hard to stay on!
She told him that he things were progressing as she would expect. She said that everything looked "okay," whatever that means. He had to have a sonogram and she said that the organs were looking "okay." I love the terminology that these expensive doctors use..."okay." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN IN LAYMEN'S TERMS????????
Zach has gone back to school - I miss him terribly! It was great having him home for more than a month, but I think he was glad to go back too. He seems to really enjoy living on his own. Its hard to believe that he's in his sophomore year of college - how did THAT happen??? He's still going warp speed on everything and still loves flying as much as ever.
We've spent some incredible moments with our "football buddies" in the past couple of months. I don't know what I would have done without them...they are my sanity check (which should tell you something if you know them - hahahaha!). It was tough watching those Wylie Pirates lose it in the end, but what a great ride! An extra 7 weeks of high school football in one season - doesn't get any better than that! The blessing is that the wait for next football season to start is shorter!
Saw a couple of good movies over the holidays...Marley & Me, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. There are so many good ones out there and I think I want to see them all! Dianne and I will be very busy the next month or so!
I've missed checking up on my loved ones and great friends...I've been very intent on things around the house and preparing it "just in case." I hope this finds all of you happy and enjoying a beautiful new year!
Love to you all...
K
She told him that he things were progressing as she would expect. She said that everything looked "okay," whatever that means. He had to have a sonogram and she said that the organs were looking "okay." I love the terminology that these expensive doctors use..."okay." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN IN LAYMEN'S TERMS????????
Zach has gone back to school - I miss him terribly! It was great having him home for more than a month, but I think he was glad to go back too. He seems to really enjoy living on his own. Its hard to believe that he's in his sophomore year of college - how did THAT happen??? He's still going warp speed on everything and still loves flying as much as ever.
We've spent some incredible moments with our "football buddies" in the past couple of months. I don't know what I would have done without them...they are my sanity check (which should tell you something if you know them - hahahaha!). It was tough watching those Wylie Pirates lose it in the end, but what a great ride! An extra 7 weeks of high school football in one season - doesn't get any better than that! The blessing is that the wait for next football season to start is shorter!
Saw a couple of good movies over the holidays...Marley & Me, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. There are so many good ones out there and I think I want to see them all! Dianne and I will be very busy the next month or so!
I've missed checking up on my loved ones and great friends...I've been very intent on things around the house and preparing it "just in case." I hope this finds all of you happy and enjoying a beautiful new year!
Love to you all...
K
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year!!! What a great year this is going to be....I've decided!
Last night we saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and I'd recommend it to everyone! It's one of the best I've seen in a long time. I'm reading Marley and Me so I can see it in the theatre. Two of my friends said, "Yes, you must see it, but you need to read the book first or the embarrassment of all the snot you'll cry will be humiliation for us all!" Shows you what my friends know about me, doesn't it???? Oh, and if I were any of you, I wouldn't waste $9.50 on Yes Man. You should wait for either the $1.00 show or video! Typically, I love Jim Carrey but he let me down on this one!
We're still waiting for the call, but Jay is feeling pretty good. He's been resting, alot and fishing (maybe even more) so I think all the rest has done him some good. I'm still having major pain with my leg/ankle, so I'm going to see if I can find another doctor for a 2nd opinion. Typically, I trust a doctor's opinion and don't seek a second one, but it's been almost 3 months of pain and frankly, I'm sick of it!
Life is grand for the moment...Zach is back in Durant but will be home for the weekend, my Mom and brother are both healthy, Jay's brother is recovering nicely from his heart surgery and his other siblings are doing good. Jay is feeling better and I'm determined to make it a great year. We're having an evening of snacks and dominoes on Saturday with all our football buddies (we're having football withdrawal!), so it just doesn't get much better than this. A call would do it, but for now, I'm pretty content.
I wish for all of my much-loved family and friends, a blessed and prosperous 2009!
Love to you all...
Last night we saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and I'd recommend it to everyone! It's one of the best I've seen in a long time. I'm reading Marley and Me so I can see it in the theatre. Two of my friends said, "Yes, you must see it, but you need to read the book first or the embarrassment of all the snot you'll cry will be humiliation for us all!" Shows you what my friends know about me, doesn't it???? Oh, and if I were any of you, I wouldn't waste $9.50 on Yes Man. You should wait for either the $1.00 show or video! Typically, I love Jim Carrey but he let me down on this one!
We're still waiting for the call, but Jay is feeling pretty good. He's been resting, alot and fishing (maybe even more) so I think all the rest has done him some good. I'm still having major pain with my leg/ankle, so I'm going to see if I can find another doctor for a 2nd opinion. Typically, I trust a doctor's opinion and don't seek a second one, but it's been almost 3 months of pain and frankly, I'm sick of it!
Life is grand for the moment...Zach is back in Durant but will be home for the weekend, my Mom and brother are both healthy, Jay's brother is recovering nicely from his heart surgery and his other siblings are doing good. Jay is feeling better and I'm determined to make it a great year. We're having an evening of snacks and dominoes on Saturday with all our football buddies (we're having football withdrawal!), so it just doesn't get much better than this. A call would do it, but for now, I'm pretty content.
I wish for all of my much-loved family and friends, a blessed and prosperous 2009!
Love to you all...
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